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Up, down
Up again
Down - fast and furious.
Hanging on, letting go, screaming, celebrating, cranking up
(Who knows how high?)
Barreling down
(Who knows how low?)
No idea what is over the next hump, next turn, next loopity loop...
Hanging on.
~ROK, 7/10/15
They discharged Dad from Piedmont Hospital (place we bemoaned each and every day of his 12 day stay) this past Wednesday, July 8. Part of me wondered about the timing and medical appropriateness of this decision, but (a) we wanted him out of there from the day he went in and (b) please, please let us focus on healing and moving on .... (so, I convinced myself to trust these professionals whose job this is and kept any misgivings to myself).
Admitted him to Spring Memorial Transitional Care Unit (TCU) Wednesday afternoon. Wednesday night kicked his ass. They had taken him off all antibiotics. Took him off lasix. Didn't give him respiratory treatment prior to release and then failed to order the current respiratory meds on his discharge papers, so had no respiratory treatments that day or night, so oxygen got seriously off-track.
His blood sugar loves that damn roller coaster and was all over the place, due to the many transitions.
So... sugar dropped dangerously low round about witching hour and, according to protocol, they had to insert an IV to administer glucose. Dad, however, no longer has veins eager to accept new lines, so they tortured him for a very long miserable time in the middle of the night, finally inserting IV on (lucky?) 3rd try and (thankfully, eventually) bringing blood sugar back to acceptable levels.
Oh, he was ticked. And hurting. Both of his hands so discolored and purple, looks like he's wearing gloves for Halloween. Hate that.
Yesterday till 2pm, he slept. When he was semi-coherent, he complained about being "stuck and poked"- Meanwhile, it became clear that he has most probably contracted PNEUMONIA yet again. He was running a fever. They called for chest x-ray. New Dr. reviewed most recent sputem culture, put him back on antibiotics. He was supposed to get IV antibiotics at 3am, but IV blew, so they finally opted to put in a new PIC-line.... that was successfully completed round about 1pm today.
Meanwhile, all his blood counts went the wrong directions, so Dr. ordered a double transfusion. And Dr. Wise (yay!) gave him Unna Boots (for weepy, woundy, edema legs/feet), while his awesome nurse, Anna, gave him her full attention all afternoon.
There is so much going on, I doubt anyone has even read through this full post. At this point, I'm writing it as documentation for me/us, because all of this runs together in a foggy blur and who knows when, how or why we may wish to access, but here 'tis, in my emotional rose glasses access...
And --- if you have read this far (:-)) and have ANYTHING whatsoever (that's a good word) to add, please, please, please.... do.
Read it all, and really 'get' how valuable this is for you to record, but also I think it helps us readers be better able to send really clear healing thoughts. If you know what I mean. I commend you for taking this route of recording and processing. I didn't, when I went through stuff. Who knows why. But, for you, I will share a favourite quote by my granddaughter when she was 4 and scribbling lines in a notebook. "Writing is important because it helps you hear what your mind is saying." Word of wisdom. Sending you all wishes for strength and healing and many small and large miracles.
ReplyDeleteRobin, I am reading everything you so eloquently write. I wish this would be so much better for you all, it is a very trying and difficult time. Your parents are very lucky to have you there. Sending love and hugs.......
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ReplyDeleteOh so remember this ride well. My father had heart failure and collapsed 9 times in 18 months before the final chapter played out. My sisters tore into the medical community with all their fear and doubts. I knew all too well how they were struggling to make sense of it all. Being In The medical community is a curse as well as a blessing. I knew Dad was on the journey to whatever we all face after this life, and it knew how and what lie ahead. I know you are so smart that you know the ins and outs of your Dad'd diagnosis and like me all it did wasi fed the uncertainty that swirls around and engulfs families when your parents are fighting demons such as this disease. Hindsight is always 20/20. If I could go back I would tell myself, stop looking for the next dip in the hills. Don't worry how high those hills are or if you are going to fall off that cliff! Don't make the ride consume you. Have those important conversations with your Dad now. Live in the now. Breathe, laugh, reminisce, cry and love. Take time for you. If you are recharged he will recharge too. The hardest thing for me was not letting go of Dad. It was letting myself just be in the moment and not trying to desperately take some kind of control. Go wig your instincts and inner voice! Be his advocate but most of all be his little girl. Surrendering to the process is not failure. Prepare for battle in the moment and the future will play out according to God's plan. I pray for strength, peace and wisdom. Uncertainty may swirl around you and your family, but you have the support and love of many. I pray that God surrounds your Dad and brings him health and peace. I am here if you need to bend and ear...Hugs and peace. Linda Clark
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful woman,Dear Neice. Your Mom & Dad brough a compassionate and loving spirit into this world and you certainly honor them.
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