"Keep on keeping on..."

"It was a busy day," said Dad.

This is good, as they are doing all they can to coordinate care so he will be ready to go home tomorrow.

Mom and Dad intended to attend the Heart Failure class held in hospital at 10:00 am, but, due to coordination mis-haps, they didn't get there in time.... so, true to form, the class came to him. Hard lessons from a wise woman with a medium sized salt shaker. Dad says, "Things are going to change."

A-yup.

Also says that Carol is already taking on the challenge of how to prepare tasty meals that combine gluten-free, sugar-free and salt-free.... Well, one thing I know is - if anyone can rise to that challenge - it's my mom ;-) (you know it's true)

They had another "visitor" to help coordinate home health care options - (there are options? Why, yes, there are!) and there will be a nurse to come into their home for the four days following his return to check on the "picc-line," continuing intravenous meds, other meds, vitals, etc. This is comforting, too.

Also had a visit from Diabetes Specialist to help clarify how to measure blood sugar levels and pinpoint timing and dosing of insulin. This has been tricky and mysterious, so having a chart, a plan and knowledge is massively helpful, imo. Dad said something to that effect, too - though not as mushy or gushy as me.

Busy day? I believe he scheduled an appointment with his pulmonary doctor later this week, too.

Busy day? Yes - he even kept a previously scheduled call with one of his SCORE clients, happy to fulfill his consultant/counselor/mentor role and move yet another business vision forward. Can you say "keep on keeping on"?

"I feel like I am breathing more clearly than I have in months," he says. And he may even attempt to sleep IN the ever-present hospital bed (vs. recliner chair) tonight.

I hope that as I write this, he is resting, dreaming and potassium levels are gaining ground, while resting quiet and calm in bed, in preparation for a return to home tomorrow.

Breath by breath,
Robin

New View, My Amazing Mom and Instant Messages

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.

Anaïs Nin 

View from Dad's new room, sunset Monday 9/10/12

It's actually hard to stay away all day, even though we know Dad most wants us to all be going about our regular lives as if this latest health scare isn't of utmost importance to us.... As if his low potassium and lack of rest last night doesn't affect us at all... As if we don't go about the duties of daily life constantly wondering if there is somewhere more important, meaningful and relevant  (on the cosmic scale)  for our time, attention, energy to be devoted. 

Sometimes I think he forgets that he is not a "project" we can manage - there is no strategic plan (at least not one we can comprehend and follow) or Excel spreadsheet that can inform us of priorities right now. This is an entirely different realm. I don't understand it either... I just understand that it's impossible to understand.
Today, he got a new room with a new view. He didn't request or even want it. Moving seemed like a pain, didn't ask for it, and didn't know how the next room might compare.... 
So.... at this point they are talking about sending Dad home Wednesday. I am supposed to fly to FLA on Wednesday. Both Mom and Dad have made this trip to a business conference possible for me and for Mallory and are insistent that we go. We are really excited and eager for the experience, but, I have to say, it is hard to leave. 

Mom is so amazing! Dad told me tonight how impressed and proud he is of Carol and how well she has been dealing with all of this.... Even instructed me (in his subtle way) to say so on the blog (but just so you both know, I would have anyway!!). His words were so heartfelt and sweet, brings tears to my eyes here now in translation. 

Please chime in and be available to her and to Dad, even though they will try to convince you they have it all under control.... and maybe they do... but, truth is, we all need one another....

But when we arrived in the new room to visit this evening, we all agreed it was better. Oh, at certain times of day, the view may be inferior, but when we arrived, it was obvious we were facing west - the sun was setting  - it was quite beautiful. Dad was free of all those damn "spaghetti wires" that require him to be attached to the wall and free of things that continually go "BEEP" - it wasn't in our hands, but this move seems, by all measures, to be an improvement.

Oh, and Just call me the messenger.... Sharing (the really good, wise, worthwhile, kind and inspiring) FB messages from this evening - thanks and love to Dad and all <3

Breath by breath,
Robin

Robin OK

2 hours ago near Hartwell via mobile

On way to visit dad now. If you have a message, we can be your messenger...

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  Jessica Koock, Gary Johnston and 2 others like this.
• • 
    

    Mallory Matson I love love love him!!

    2 hours ago via mobile ·  · 1
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    Maureen Wood It seems like we should all know your dad

    2 hours ago ·  · 1
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    Terri Doerr Be strong & get well! HUGS to him and YOU

    2 hours ago via mobile ·  · 1
  • 
    

    Tina Marks In through the nose, out through the mouth! ;)

    about an hour ago ·  · 1
  • 
    

    Hill Duh in with the good, out with the bad!

    about an hour ago ·  · 1

Happy Grandparents Day

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again.  

Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.  

~Gene Perre

Girls and I had a nice visit with Papa today, Grandparents' Day. Jon would have been there, too, except he's been sick all week and that just wouldn't do. (So, since he's actually feeling much better, I had him vacuum the whole house in our absence - he did a good job. ;-)

 Yesterday, I told Dad we'd be there after church, around 1:00. He said, "I'll expect you at 1:30." (he knows us well :-) Ultimately, we got there around 3:00 pm.  Both Gma and Papa were very gracious, without rush, seeming to appreciate our arrival when-ever. 

They started Dad on heart med today, not long before we got there. Mom was pleased to tell us that his blood pressure, heart rate and oxygen counts all seemed to be heading in the right direction following the first dose. 

Mid-way into our visit, we consulted with the tell-tale screen...

... concerned that the top green number of 74 was illustrating very low Oxygen levels... exploring whether or not Dad had re-inserted Oxygen into his nostrils, whether he had "reader" accurately connected to his index finger, suggesting he might want to check with his nurse....

Of course, Dad dismissed at first... but after a bit, started noticing dizzy-woozy-ness, asked about current numbers (he can't see them)... we reported mid-70s. 

"Maybe we should call your nurse in," says I.

Nurse and respiratory dude arrive quickly, take a look at the screen and say "Your Oxygen is at 97 - that's pretty good." 

Major oops - Realize we confused heart rate number (green) with oxygen level number (blue) - duh.

Counts are good and getting better.... Please keep your prayers coming!

Breath by breath,

Robin

"It was a day"...

Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; 

talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.  

~Swedish Proverb

"It was a day."

 I can't remember where this quote comes from, but it resonates like a simple, beautiful truth.  

Today, we learned that Dad has "heart failure," whatever the specific definition of that might be (right side, left side; congestive, vascular; words) in Dad's case. I have a hard time comprehending all of the info that comes directly from the "specialist," much less translating what I heard via 3rd party sources - I wasn't there when the Cardiologist came today to share the findings of the Echo-Cardiogram, but I did gather that the info the technician offered last night was not on target.... 

I may have this so wrong, but it sounds like Dad's heart has been sub-par (yes, I used a golf term on purpose) for awhile now - at least a few months... but, it was only today that this fact was clearly defined (and offered explanation for existing blood pressure and weakness mysteries) for me, so maybe I'm not the only one. And, while it is not welcome or happy news, it really doesn't change anything - it's been there, unsaid, doing its work without our permission - for some time now. What changes is the fact that we now have access to confront it with awareness and ammunition. Dad is grieving the loss of "salt," especially his Planter's Peanut habit.... but I know, with a strategic plan, he can rally the diet thing. This is treatable. 

Also clarified that he is dealing with infection in his lungs and that is being treated via intensive antibiotics - also treatable, thank goodness.

But this is not what I intended to write about... 

If I'm to follow the proverb, then what I want to do is "talk less, say more." Following that, I want to say I love, respect and am so inspired by my parents. These situations reveal who and what people are.  What I see in them is real, profound love of the most genuine variety. Over the past 49 years, they  have created a bond that is powerful, unbreakable and (I do not say this lightly) quite remarkable. 

They're talking about sending Dad home early next week... and that's a good thing,

Breath by breath,

Robin

Jello Clues?

"The greatest treasures are those invisible to the eye, but found in the heart."

So, apparently, when they brought Dad's long-awaited meal last night, he was less than thrilled to get sugar-free Jello instead of the vanilla ice-cream he had very clearly ordered.

Upon questioning, he was told (unbeknownst to any of us previously) that his doctor has now ordered a "cardiac diet," based on info revealed in the Echo Cardiogram. Most we know at this point is that the left side of his heart is not pumping as strongly as it should.

The cardiologist is supposed to come reveal more around 10:00 am....

Breath by breath,
Robin

Inhale, Exhale, Heart, Humor, Life

You know that our breathing is the inhaling and exhaling of air.  

The organ that serves for this is the lungs that lie round the heart, 

so that the air passing through them thereby envelops the heart.  

Thus breathing is a natural way to the heart.  

And so, having collected your mind within you, lead it into the channel of breathing through which air reaches the heart and, together with this inhaled air, 

force your mind to descend into the heart and to remain there.  

~Nicephorus the Solitary

Heart testing - Echo-cardiogram - happened this morning before we arrived. Technician told dad it's only his job to complete the exam - can't read results, but didn't see anything blatantly wrong. Still waiting for "official" results from those whose job it is to read results.

Lung testing - Bronchoscopy - originally scheduled for 1:00 pm, finally transpired round about 3:15 ("hospital time"). Dad was amazingly patient, considering they have had him fasting since lunchtime on Thursday so that he would be ready and able to complete this miserable test.

All trying, mysterious, uncertain... yet here are some priceless sound-bytes in recovery room thanks to Dad under-semi-anesthesia...

"So, they took me back there and poured this tylenol numbing stuff down my throat, made me swallow it - and I said, 'First thing I get to consume in 15 hours and it tastes like shit!"

We all genuinely laugh on cue. He waits for lull, then....

"So.... they gave me some more."

More laughing behind our face masks, amidst knowing above the mask loving eye contact....

Then, can't you mix it with Scotch?"

Haha! Funny man!

Goes on to tell us, "Then they all put on these yellow outfits...."

Cough, splutter, kinda scary intense coughing fit that goes on a long while...

".... and I told 'em they look like a bunch of crazy yellow canaries."

Ba hahahaha....

So what do we know?

Know that his oxygen and blood pressure have been improving today, if ever so slightly. Know that he made it through lots of trying tests today in pretty heroic ways that will hopefully provide the info to make best decisions going forward.

Know that we are all in this together - heart to lung, lung to heart, breath to heart, heart to heart.

Breath by breath,
Robin

A Good Night brings a Brighter Morn

"Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts."  ~Thich Nhat Hanh

So, when I got up, checked my email and saw 3 or 4 FW'd messages there from "Richard O'Neal," it seemed a good sign ;-).....

Then, he called Scott (the go-to guy in health matters, no doubt) to report that blood pressure and oxygen counts are up and he'd been given the green light to have two procedures done today:

(1) Echo Cardiogram to check out stuff with his heart (no clear issues that we are previously aware of, but seems there are some other signs that indicate this test is advisable at this point).

(2) Bronchoscopy, in which they probe and take samples directly from his lung tissues. This test will hopefully clarify whether the primary issue right now is being caused by infection (pneumonia) or by progression of his Churg-Strauss disease. Based on the findings, the doctors will be able to make the best recommendation for ongoing treatment.

We will be heading to University Hospital 7th floor very shortly, where we will don our bug-like masks to enter Dad's room and give hugs and encouragement prior to bronchoscopy at 1:00 pm. Not sure just how long it takes to do procedure or get results. Welcome any and all prayers raised up during that time for him and for his doctors and nurses, as well as for clarity in the findings and necessary treatment to follow.

Feel free to leave comments here for Dad - I'm sure he'd appreciate your good wishes <3

Breath by breath,
Robin

Message from Mom

We are starting this blog so we can keep everyone in the loop with Dad's health progress. Things in the weird realm of health crisis and hospitals and tests and being a patient and meds, etc etc etc (ad nauseum) tend to take on a bizarre life of their own and it becomes challenging to recall who said what when or why and how you got from point A to point B... so this ongoing blog will not only help us to effectively keep family, friends and loved ones in the loop, but it will serve to jog our memory about the journey. 

So, to get started.... 

Here's an email message Mom sent with info about Wed night through Thurs night this week.....

Just to let everyone know,  last night, we called the EMT's again, and they took Dick to Univ. Hospital in Cincinnati, where his  Churg- Strauss specialist is.  They are currently trying to determine what is Churg- Strauss and what is probably pneumonia, and what particular strain it is.  Tomorrow, if his BP is up enough, the plan to do a bronchoscopy to find this out.  He is weak and coughing a lot and is very sick.  Robin and Scott and I are spending time there and are pleased that we chose to take him to University, even though it is a "trek" to get there.  I think he is getting good and intensive care, is in a unit that falls between ICU and the regular patient floors.  When we left at about 3:30 today, he was finally in a lull of care where he  could possibly get a bit of rest.

Can't say we "need" anything, but your continued thoughts and prayers, and will try to keep you up to date.

Love, Carol