It's Been a Year

It has been quite a year here without Dad struggling to breathe with the rest of us.

Somehow, we have learned and grown and ached and sorrowed and expanded and continued on this journey of life, figuring out how to navigate. It has not been so simple. He brought such focus and clarity, determination, strategy, consistency and powerful love wherever he went. Losing him has made us appreciate all he gave to us in a striking way.

I once gifted my parents with a book of my poetry as a Christmas gift. It was when I was writing as a way of healing during my divorce, so I was all grown up and the poems were slightly angsty-edgy; kind of raw... and very real Robin.

I remember Dad appreciated the gift. And he said something that has stayed with me, "You need to write some Happy Poems."

I felt slightly discouraged at the time.... Yeah, maybe. Maybe I need to write happy (er)  poems... But then, what I needed to do was write real poems. (And I did - until I stopped).

Today (after a long hiatus from connecting to genuine-poet-writer-me;  after resisting journaling, blogging, poetrying or writing at all) --

Today (on the anniversary that marks one year since he has left us for whatever is on the other side),  I felt called to channel my poet-voice and simply write whatever came -- without pressure or expectation to share -- but ultimately hoping whatever fell out of my pen might honor this day and all the nostalgic energy hovering about me.

What came feels like a relatively "Happy Poem" (given what prompted it and the definitive sadness that accompanies loss).... and so, to honor Dad on this day, I share...

A Happy Poem
(for my Daddy)

Birds. 

The red cardinal

Flitting limb to limb 

against sparkle snow white

and lush summer green - 

He is here

Bright. In flight. 

Water. 

Blue splash waves

Still lake fishes

Bridge over river

Motorboat, beach, rain

Drench my thirsty soul.

Food.

Peeling shrimps

Artichoke hearts

Melted butter

Legs of crabs

Flanks of steak

Mom's apple pies

Delicious slices of life.

Math. 

Ugh. 

Math. 

He tried. 

(Oh how he tried!)
Sharp engineer mind
Clear block print 

Writing equations on pages

Plain as day

Patient and calm

Step by step

shhh.. I still use my fingers sometimes

(Not his fault).

Cars. 

Driving cars. 

Yellow Celica.

Stick shift.

Uphill. 

Patient and calm

Step by step

Oh, man, I do love to drive!

Jokes.

Corny ones. 

Crass ones. 

Endless ridiculous puns.

In person

Inbox

Lighten up, people

Write some Happy Poems

Bond. 

James Bond

Bold adventures

Beautiful women

Gizmos & gadgets

Mystery, mission, fantasy.

Bond.

The kind that seeps through dimensions

Lost and found

Here and there

Space and time

Heart and mind

Laughter and tears

Father and daughter....

I miss you, Dad.  

Happy Heaven Day. 

Love, 

Robin